2.I remember that day when my identical twin brother impregnate a soldier daughter and went abroad.
Chaii I startled chewing water and end up drinking rice.
3.The way ATM throws out card after withdrawing N1000 is so disrespectful.... I had to pic mine across the main road yesterday.
4.if he comes back from work and site outside for a while. Sister,he's deleting the message
Hurry up and catch him.
5.imagine,chatting with a beautiful girl at a wedding and your mum comes to tell you“put this rice in the plastic bag, gives to and say take this home this is our super....
6.when you go to an interview and your ex is the CEO, that is when you will understand why mathematics has been telling you to find the value of X
7.if you think lawyer are the best liars..then you have not met Nigerian tailors.
8.Save 100k in Nigerian bank,after six months you have 80k left. Saving account.
9.Two days into a relationship, you already need 5k urgently. Is that the registration fee?
10.This life ehn........
I remember when my girlfriend told me that she missed her period, it took me 12 hours to finish my one slice of bread.
Also read The collection of jokes episode 1
11.The only time a man can truly remember all the girls he has slept with is when he is waiting for HIV test result
12.I've just received a friend request from a seven years old girl,biko who told her that I stole her pencil.
13.Next month September, before you give her money for Brazilian hair, she must sing the Brazilian national anthem first.
14.Anytime you see a lady shaking her buttocks while walking, just know that she's going to her guy's place
How did I know?
Because it is written on syrup bottles "shake well before use".
15.When you have unprotected sex,you start seeing strange things even number plate will be like,
HIV654Q...ARV548G....STD143H...DIE 980T.
16.I can't get how cockroaches survive in a microwave
You will be warming up food and suddenly you will see them walking like shadrack meshark and abednego.
17.police arrested you and collected your phone, and a text message came in saying,
“Abeg if you dey come..buy me one AK-47 and 4-bullets make we take do night things ”
How would you explain to the police that your friend mean vodka(AK-47) and 4-energy drinks(4-bullets).
To make matters worse ,your friend name is Robert but you save it as ROB-1
what will you do to convince a Nigerian policeman?
18.I smoked weed for the first time today,its not strong as people use to say! Am just relaxed listening to c Ronaldo 7's album.
Also read The collection of jokes episode 2
19.In this cold weather No woman is ugly, men are we together?
20.Look to my eyes and tell me you love me...
This is how some people catch Apollo.
21.In Nigerian hospitals, you will stand on a que until you forget your sickness
22.Its is only on Indian movie that armed robbers will be singing inside the bank after robbery and police will be outside the bank dancing,yeye people
23.Nigerian thinks violence fix everything, you will find a person slapping remote control simply he want to watch Gangaa and the remote not working.
24.In awkward moment when after inserting a disk in your DVD and find out it was a porn video.... Immediately NEPA takes light and bring it back in the night when your entire family has gathered to watch the film showing last memory.... You dong die...
25.you are driving and listening to a pastor sermon in your car and then he say close your eyes let's pray and you did..my brother your going to hell.
26.Only Ibadan guys will carry laptop bags around with ludo inside...Abeg let no Ibadan knock me again ooo,Im not feeling well.
27.You will ask some girls “tell me your hobbies” and she open her mouth and say “traveling and shopping ” Don't you have any other hobby that doesn't cost money? Like sleeping, trekking and crying.
28.My room mate just came back with his babe today, now they have been here staring at me for the past 6 hours they tink I'll go outside to give them privacy.. Ahhh! I can not support evil.
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